The Dreaded 2010 NFL Picks
September 4, 2010 2 Comments
Since nobody asked… (Wild Card teams with asterisks)
EAST: Dallas 12-4, NY Giants 10-6, Washington 7-9, Beagles 6-10 (Andy Reid gets the gate after the season and so does a certain dogkilla.)
NORTH CENTRAL: Minnesota 12-4 (Earns bye with head-to-head win over Dallas), Green Bay 12-4* (Pack loses tiebreak on head-to-head sweep by Judas Favre), Da Bears 7-9, Detroit 6-10.
SOUTH: N’Awlins 13-3, Atlanta 10-6* (earns Wildcard with better conference record), Carolina 8-8, Yuckaneers 2-14.
WEST: San Francisco 9-7, Arizona 8-8, Seattle 4-12, St. Louis 1-15. Easily the worst division in football this year.
EAST: New England Belecheats 11-5, NY Jets 10-6, Miami 9-7, Buffalo 5-11.
NORTH CENTRAL: Baltimore 12-4, Pittsburgh 9-7, Cincinnati 7-9 (TO and Chad Johnson throws everyone under the bus), Cleveland 5-11 (Mankini gets sacked and Holmgren takes over after the season. You heard it here first.)
SOUTH: Indianapolis 13-3, Tennessee 11-5*, Houston 11-5 (misses playoffs on divisional and wildcard tiebreakers), Jacksonville 8-8.
WEST: San Diego 13-3 (loses in Divisional Playoffs, Norvface gets fired), Denver 11-5*, Kansas City 8-8, Oakland 4-12.
PLAYOFFS – NFC – Dallas beats Atlanta, San Francisco beats Green Bay in Wild Card; New Orleans tops San Francisco and Minnesota beats Dallas; Minnesota gets revenge on Saints and wins trip to Dallas.
AFC – Ballmaur beats Denver and Pats lose to Tennessee; Titans fall to Colts while Chargers upset by Ravens; Colts win in OT over Ravens.
SUPER BOWL XLV – In front of largest crowd to attend the Big Game, the Vikings beat the Colts for Favre’s last stand, and to celebrate, the Minnesota state government gives them a new stadium to play in come 2015.